Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck enter catfight territory. Rosie told Elisabeth “You’re very young and you’re very wrong” as they were fighting over the Patriot Act. Paris Hilton’s been arrested for violating her probation, driving with a suspended license. Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen have been playing tonsil hockey all over Italy. Looks like baby-daddy-mama-drama…
Age difference 1 (3:08) Age difference 2 (2:44) Age difference 3 (1:57) Age difference 4 (4:00) Age difference 5 (3:17)
Leo (July 23 – August 22) That means keeping it simple, silly. Cut all the unnecessary trim and you’ll find the absolute essence of success. Your wildest dreams come true, especially when you stick close to the original source: the tailpipe on an ’88 Cutlass. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) You don’t want to…
Antonella Barba, the reigning “Miss Nevada” of American Idol, seems to taking the bad press pretty hard. Her best friend, eliminated earlier in the competition, says “She’s the least slutty person I know.” I’m hoping she has some photographic evidence to back up that statement. Upload it. Then, we’ll see. Howard K. Stern might be…
Steve Schnell’s Report about the season change (1:31) Howard K. Stern vs Howard Stern (0:37) “How to use the phone” 1 (4:20) “How to use the phone” 2 (3:32) “How to use the phone” 3 (3:16) “How to use the phone” 4 (0:58) “How to use the phone” 5 (3:39) “How to use the phone”…
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) Thinking about others is almost always second nature to you, but right now a little voice is saying, ‘But what about me, me, me?’ Go ahead and give yourself some extra loving attention and kindness too. Just don’t do it in your neighbors bushes this time. Cancer (June 22…
Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern’s lawyers have been talking about a settlement. TMZ says Stern’s lawyers may have nabbed a Styrofoam cup from Birkhead during the “who gets the body” case. They’re speculating that Stern’s lawyers tested it for DNA and found out Larry is the father. Sources “close to” the Britney situation say…
“Look like Joey Greco on purpose?” (2:44) Birds in Wal-Mart 1 (5:35) Birds in Wal-Mart 2 (3:28) Jeri Anne’s disgusting visual (3:03) Oscars: Defining J-Lo (1:00)
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Figure out what you want, because there’s a good chance that you’ll get it. Who would’ve thought that a greeter collapsing at Wal-Mart would cause the perfect distraction for stealing condoms. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) So things look a certain way, but does that necessarily reflect the…
Kevin Federline visited Britney Spears in rehab. Courtney Love thinks Britney’s head shaving was pretty cool. When Courtney Love appreciates something you do, that’s your cue to get into rehab. American Idol contestant Antonella Barba is neck-and-neck with Britney Spears on Internet searches. Pictures of Antonella on the toilet, fake-lesbianing, and boob-profiling seem to be…
PETA vs K-State (3:48) Stooks in the Morning, M.D. (3:09) Name Thief (1:52) Obama vs Clinton (2:55) “I’m with PETA” (3:55) Taken advantage of (2:05)
Leo (July 23 – August 22) Someone wants to tell you something, but you’re on sensory overload. If you can find a rhythm with all your multitasking, you’ll be able to hear what they have to tell you. If that doesn’t work, it might be time for Miracle Ear. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)…
Britney Spears is in rehab for the third time in the last week. She went back to stop Kevin Federline’s motion for an emergency custody hearing. Former potential nannies for Britney say she made it clear she wanted a nanny who was cool with her being naked all the time. That explains it. Her vagina…
Britney’s anti-drug message (2:27) Hell is a laundromat 1 (5:17) Hell is a laundromat 2 (2:35) Hell is a laundromat 3 (3:08) Hell is a laundromat 4 (1:15) Hell is a laundromat 5 (4:12) High Lady on bald women (3:24)
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) You? Making an argument for the tried-and-true? What the heck is going on? There’s nothing more innovative than embracing tradition, especially when it works. And wearing a Hasselhoff wig while sifting through your archive of “Knight Rider” and “Baywatch” tapes couldn’t work any better. Cancer (June 22 – July…
Britney is out of a one-day rehab stint again, and even tried to get another tattoo on her way home. I’m telling you, those eyebrows are coming off. It looks like Kevin Federline may be behind Britney’s rehab and baldness, after all. Several sources say he threatened to get a hair sample to prove exactly…
Seacrest and Cowell’s one night stand (2:39) Shaved Head Attractiveness 1 (3:27) Shaved Head Attractiveness 2 (4:13) Shaved Head Attractiveness 3 (4:58) Shaved Head Attractiveness 4 (5:26) Shaved Head Attractiveness 5 (1:17)
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Life’s too short to pretend, unless you’re pretending to be Superman. That’s fun. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Are you paying attention? Some good news has landed in your lap. Make sure you tip when she’s done. Libra (September 23 – October 22) The temptation to label things…
Oops, Britney Spears is in rehab again. I guess she’ll just have eyebrows left to shave in celebration when she gets out again. The salon where Britney chopped her hair off thinks it was a publicity stunt. Seals everywhere have been barking their approval ever since. Donald Trump may become Britney’s twin after Wrestlemania April…
Why Blackout Bramlage? 1 (2:58) Why Blackout Bramlage? 2 (2:59) Why Blackout Bramlage? 3 (2:01) Why Blackout Bramlage? 4 (1:25) Why Blackout Bramlage? 5 (1:35) Breaking up in front of 3000 people (3:26) President’s Day (3:41) True mustache fans (1:16)
Leo (July 23 – August 22) You’re at the center of it all, especially when you take the first step. You’re surprised to see how many people respond to your actions, but you shouldn’t be. You can clear the room thanks to the Chicken-Fried Steak and Eggs after a hangover breakfast at the Village Inn.…
Britney Spears lied to a photographer before she got her haircut. He told her he liked her new brown hair. She said “Thanks, I think I’m going to keep it this way.” OMFG! Separated at birth: Britney’s wearing a blonde wig to cover up her baldness. I can’t even tell it’s a wig! “I got…
High Lady on President’s Day (5:21) Jeri Anne: Old Cowboy Tease 1 (4:50) Jeri Anne: Old Cowboy Tease 2 (3:00) Jeri Anne: Old Cowboy Tease 3 (1:18) Jeri Anne: Old Cowboy Tease 4 (5:21)
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) Knowing what you want is an important first step, but keep reminding yourself that in order to get this off the ground, there are many steps along the way. Start with changing your diaper. Cancer (June 22 – July 22) You want to get this party started — you…
Britney Spears checked into rehab for one day, got all better, added some tats and went bald. Let’s see Anna Nicole’s corpse top that! At the tattoo parlor, Britney explained that she shaved her head because she was sick of people touching her. I thought she got confused where her vagina was, but this makes…
Peanut Butter of Death (2:05) UFOs (2:51) Another baby daddy? (2:01) Skiing advice (3:26) Canine Justice 1 (4:15) Canine Justice 2 (4:33) Seeking: MySpace Stalker (3:44)
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Everybody needs some silly nonsense in his or her life. Your spirit could do with a little refreshment, so do something you haven’t done in a while. Give your spirit some Orbitz to chew on. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) The strangest things pop out of your mouth…
A man convicted of making terrorist threats against Anna Nicole Smith has sent a letter to the tabloids saying he could be the baby daddy as Anna took a sperm sample from them when they dated. Odder: the letter looks to have been written in crayon. Two years ago, Anna Nicole and Howard K. Stern…
Sharing crib notes 1 (3:29) Sharing crib notes 2 (0:59) I got on American Idol, you can be my bodyguard (4:50).
Leo (July 23 – August 22) Why not give yourself the gift of care and attention? Once you do, you’ll see why no one else wants to. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Happiness is a state of mind. It’s not dictated by outward circumstances or an outward belly button. Taurus (April 20 – May…