Who was last night’s big winner? If you guessed K-State, you’re wrong. It’s this guy: He was at Charlie Hooper’s for the KU-K-State game last night. He has an awesome tattoo of a watch under his watch, but he has an even better shirt. Things To Do: 1. Your Sister 2. Your Mom You gotta [...]
Matt Stooks.com
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Monthly Archives January 2008
The Snub
Have you heard about The Snub? Hillary reached for Barack’s hand at the State of the Union and struck out. The media has been using this photo as proof of the snub. Barack says he was talking to someone else at the time. Hillary is obviously talking to Ted Kennedy at the time, so this [...]
QuikTrip got me
I didn’t know what I would buy when I walked into QuikTrip tonight. I was hoping to avoid taquitos if at all possible. Then, I saw it. I don’t frequent QuikTrip enough to know when this Hot-Pocket-style bread stick came into being, but it looked more than appetizing. They had three options: cheese, pepperoni or [...]
Why do you have two doors?
Dear store owner, You’ve achieved amazing symmetry with the two glass doors leading into your building. You could improve upon your feat by making both doors functional. The natural order of our country is to go right. You drive in the right lane, you go through the right door. Can you see the problems that [...]
Podcast: Crap beer and working in fast food
Ian Guerin stops by for a podcast. Topics include: 1. The effect 25 cent PBR draws have on tipping. 2. Do restaurants spit in your food? We came up with a bit more material than I expected, so this is just a part of the conversation. I’ll post the rest later. mp3 file (14:52)
The State of the Union
There’s a ton of reasons I wouldn’t run for Congress, but the State of the Union Address just might top the list. I hate giving a standing ovation, and standing ovations are thrown around like candy at the State of the Union. I just don’t think that many things deserve a standing ovation. If I [...]
What year is this?
The FCC needs someone to fine: The Federal Communications Commission on Friday said it plans to fine the Walt Disney Co’s ABC network $1.4 million for airing an episode of “NYPD Blue” in 2003 that showed a woman’s nude buttocks. I hear there’s some amazing video of the scene here. For some reason, the audio [...]
Grandmas don’t touch my Wii
Why is it still so hard to find a Nintendo Wii? All the nursing homes are buying them up. Why won’t I let a grandma touch my Wii? Their pruney grandma-hands have crevices that trap all kinds of bacteria and food crums. I don’t need that on my Wii remote. Plus, they refuse to wear [...]
Regarding Internet porn
Of course, I don’t have any experience with Internet pornography. But I hear it’s doing quite well. Several popular sites are basically YouTube for porn. Vivid Entertainment does not like these sites. They keep masturbators from buying overpriced DVDs from Vivid. Most of the material comes from amateurs. But, just like YouTube, some copywrited material [...]
Dear Presidential candidates,
You’re all full of shit. Republicans, you won’t be cutting taxes, the Mexicans are staying, and you’re not going into Iran. Democrats, you won’t be getting health care. The market is in the toilet, our money has vanished in an endless pit in Iraq, and the money we do have isn’t worth dick. You can’t [...]
