I hate Fox News. But they made my day with the first sentence in this story. Bai Ling’s first name may not be synonymous with her actions. The Chinese-born actress was arrested Thursday for allegedly shoplifting at Los Angeles International Airport after a gift shop employee accused her of swiping, not buying, two magazines and…
Valentine’s Day is the best day to be single all year – for a guy. Single women get depressed because they ain’t got no man on Valentine’s. But it’s fantastic to be a single guy on Valentine’s. Men have to do the heavy lifting on Valentine’s. Women just have to sit there. Yes, that innuendo…
Tuesday was IHOP National Pancake Day. You get a free short stack of pancakes, with IHOP suggesting a donation to the Children’s Miracle Network. So, I went for a nourishing dinner at IHOP. I got my free short stack and paid about five bucks extra for bacon, hash browns, toast and two eggs over easy.…
I have a feeling Roger Clemens will be indicted for perjury in his Congressional testimony. Lost in all the baseball hubbub is a steroid crisis unfolding in front of America right on network television. One of our favorite past times is in peril, and no one says a word. First, take a look at the…
The Department of Defense wants the death penalty for six 9/11 suspects, including Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. So much for Hanes‘ wide-neck t-shirt advertising campaign. It showed off torso hair so well. Such a shame.
Check out the never-before-seen footage. Don’t sing and fly, kids.
Now that we’ve learned the official report of Heath Ledger‘s accidental death from an unfortunate mix of legal prescription drugs and Mary Kate Olsen (one could only imagine what Dave Coulier would’ve added to this deadly cocktail), I feel the need to weigh in. However, I can only describe my true feelings after viewing “The…
After seeing Mr. Woodcock, I’m fairly certain Seann “Two n’s in my first name” William Scott will completely flame out in time to reprise his role as the original “Stifler” for the 37th direct-to-video “American Pie” sequel. But will he make more bread than Eugene Levy? Thumbs up to the mustaches above Eugene’s eyes, bro
I saw “Moment of Truth” for the first time tonight. It’s that Fox show where they hook contestants up to a lie detector and ask embarrassing questions. It’s pretty fun to watch. There are a couple of things to note. First, does the audience need to let out a shocked “ahhhhh” every time a question…
In this quick podcast, I address an interesting trait of people with terrible laughs. mp3 file (0:35) Podcast: Download (423.1KB)
Missouri voted last night. Missouri is an important indicator in politics, thanks to its mix of urban and rural communities. This means I’ve had to hear almost every news douche opt for the “Missouruh” pronunciation in the last 24 hours. Here’s a good post about why a correct pronunciation doesn’t exist. But I don’t care…
The media has made a point to constantly talk about how Bill Clinton “injected” race into the campaign. Then, the same media goes on to point out exactly which races and genders voted for Barack and Hillary. I found this curious. After some intense investigation, I have determined Barack Obama to be black. During the…
I’ve got a cold. I could use some Mucinex, but I don’t want some cashier knowing I’ve got animated blobs of mucus setting up house in my lungs. Anyone else need something shoplifted from CVS? Mucus: A karaoke disaster
In the second part of my conversation with Ian Guerin (part one here), we debate the pros and cons of eating at Sonic. We also address Waffle House vs IHOP. mp3 file (16:38) The awkward carhop is the most deserving of a tip Podcast: Download (7.6MB)
A new video from Chris Casey and Matt Stooks.
Who was last night’s big winner? If you guessed K-State, you’re wrong. It’s this guy: He was at Charlie Hooper’s for the KU-K-State game last night. He has an awesome tattoo of a watch under his watch, but he has an even better shirt. Things To Do: 1. Your Sister 2. Your Mom You gotta…
Have you heard about The Snub? Hillary reached for Barack’s hand at the State of the Union and struck out. The media has been using this photo as proof of the snub. Barack says he was talking to someone else at the time. Hillary is obviously talking to Ted Kennedy at the time, so this…
I didn’t know what I would buy when I walked into QuikTrip tonight. I was hoping to avoid taquitos if at all possible. Then, I saw it. I don’t frequent QuikTrip enough to know when this Hot-Pocket-style bread stick came into being, but it looked more than appetizing. They had three options: cheese, pepperoni or…
Dear store owner, You’ve achieved amazing symmetry with the two glass doors leading into your building. You could improve upon your feat by making both doors functional. The natural order of our country is to go right. You drive in the right lane, you go through the right door. Can you see the problems that…
Ian Guerin stops by for a podcast. Topics include: 1. The effect 25 cent PBR draws have on tipping. 2. Do restaurants spit in your food? We came up with a bit more material than I expected, so this is just a part of the conversation. I’ll post the rest later. mp3 file (14:52) Podcast:…
There’s a ton of reasons I wouldn’t run for Congress, but the State of the Union Address just might top the list. I hate giving a standing ovation, and standing ovations are thrown around like candy at the State of the Union. I just don’t think that many things deserve a standing ovation. If I…
The FCC needs someone to fine: The Federal Communications Commission on Friday said it plans to fine the Walt Disney Co’s ABC network $1.4 million for airing an episode of “NYPD Blue” in 2003 that showed a woman’s nude buttocks. I hear there’s some amazing video of the scene here. For some reason, the audio…
Why is it still so hard to find a Nintendo Wii? All the nursing homes are buying them up. Why won’t I let a grandma touch my Wii? Their pruney grandma-hands have crevices that trap all kinds of bacteria and food crums. I don’t need that on my Wii remote. Plus, they refuse to wear…
Of course, I don’t have any experience with Internet pornography. But I hear it’s doing quite well. Several popular sites are basically YouTube for porn. Vivid Entertainment does not like these sites. They keep masturbators from buying overpriced DVDs from Vivid. Most of the material comes from amateurs. But, just like YouTube, some copywrited material…
You’re all full of shit. Republicans, you won’t be cutting taxes, the Mexicans are staying, and you’re not going into Iran. Democrats, you won’t be getting health care. The market is in the toilet, our money has vanished in an endless pit in Iraq, and the money we do have isn’t worth dick. You can’t…
I was a little overwhelmed this weekend, so I wasn’t able to watch the KU-MU game until Sunday, a day late. I was talking to my friend Stephen about how great DVR is. I extolled the benefits of watching sports on DVR, so long as you don’t run into someone who spoils the result. We…
Hey, CNN. Are you going to return your analysts’ computers after the election? How about you take those stickers off your laptops. You do realize you’re on TV, right?
First, it was Chuck Norris. But now look who’s standing next to Chuck. Ric Flair campaigned with Mike Huckabee in South Carolina. Refusing to be upstaged by Flair, Chuck Norris displayed his superior political prowess when he pulled out his balls and attacked John McCain. Norris claimed presidents aged three years to every one year…
It’s awesome how you chant “bullshit” every time a charging/blocking call doesn’t go your way. Keep it up. You rule.
Most of my commentary on the Kansas City Star relates to how hard Jeffrey Flanagan blows (see here and here). In fact, despising Jeffrey Flanagan runs in the family. See my brother’s posts here. Today, I’d like to focus on the Star’s website. The Chiefs hired Chan Gailey for their offensive coordinator job Wednesday. It’s…