I was going through my cellphone last night and found four or five girls’ numbers that I never bothered calling. Mostly it was because they were obtained during a state of intoxication that I would need to reach again to have the guts to actually use the number. We talked about the problems with exchanging…
Leo Financial decisions are best put off until cooler heads can prevail. A big-ticket purchase isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, so wait before you put your money into Mark Mangino’s circulatory system. Sagittarius Usually you’re the definition of acceptance, but some celestial influences might release your inner critic. But be gentle when you…
Osama’s former sex slave showed up on MSNBC today. Here’s a quick, creepy soundbyte. I knew this was coming: the real reasons Tom Cruise isn’t with Paramount anymore. Mostly, it’s the fact that he made 20% of each film’s gross that cost him. But still, bonus points for being creepy. Survivor’s latest gimmick? Dividing the…
It’s nice to be back in the studio after a couple days on campus. We missed our callers and air conditioning. When I got back home after our broadcast yesterday, one of those door-to-door magazine salesmen who’s pitch starts with “can I get your vote” came to my door. He had some severe “meth mouth”…
Aquarius All eyes are on you thanks to your charisma. The fact that you have a Lion’s Den accessory attached to your forward might be part of the reason, too. Cancer Your instincts will lead you to some great victories right now, so get involved in any competitions now. Whether it’s a three-legged race, a…
Paramount Pictures has dumped Tom Cruise’s production company. They say it’s due to his off-screen behavior. No one puts their feet on Oprah’s couch, and that includes Tom Cruise. Paris Hilton: “I haven’t accepted money from my parents since I was 18. I worked my ass off. I’ve done it all on my own.” With…
The Sasquatch returns in “Sasquatch Back to School II.” Sick of listening to your professor or boss? Then you need the Bose Ear Buds. Podcast: Download (859.6KB)
CapricornWhen you’re around the right people, you can make faster progress than you’d think possible. Meth dealers just seem to have that effect on you. GeminiOne of your most valuable skills is your ability to learn on the fly. You may see yourself as scrambling to catch up, but that’s far from the truth. You’re…
Osama bin Laden is a big Whitney Houston fan. Follow that link and prepare for one of the weirdest stories ever. Apparently one of his former sex slaves has written an autobiography. She’s from America. So Osama kept asking her if she personally knew Whitney. She told him “no.” He went on to explain that…
LeoCrowds are definitely not doing it for you right now. You need solitude to contemplate some changes that you have to make. You also need solitude when singing your favorite “New Kids on the Block” tunes. Especially since your singing talents are only slightly better than Donnie Walberg’s. SagittariusSomeone’s picking up on the unconscious distress…
Here’s a fun little diddy we did, called “Sasquatch Back To School.” Podcast: Download (1,003.7KB)
Quick note: We’ll be doing the show on the K-State campus Monday and Tuesday. Come by and say hey. We’ll even take the show an extra hour. However, this means we probably won’t have much audio for the web these days. On to the Scoop… Shocker! It was still #1, but Snakes on a Plane…
Millions of people will be disappointed today after seeing Snakes on a Plane. Far less will be disappointed by… Snake on a Phone. Snakes on a Plane influenced “Free for All Friday,” as well. This guy isn’t happy about it at all. “Bring it Sam Jackson!!!” Other Free For All Friday Highlights… This girl’s roommate…
Aquarius You have an unwavering commitment to improving this world. It’s not a corny or impractical sentiment at all, but a fascinating puzzle. You’ve got innovative ideas on how to improve things for everyone here: wear a Richard Nixon mask. Cancer Regularly schedule time to appreciate all the joys in your life from the small…
Mel Gibson pleaded “No Contest” to his DUI case. He’ll be on probation for three years, go to a drug/alcohol education thing, and community service teaching teens how to take a mug shot photo. “Freedom!!!!! From horrifying mug shots.” Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson might be dating. Boring Beyonce went on a maple syrup diet…
So, Britney Spears says her current pregnancy was kind of accidental. We talked about how, in the future, her kid will be pleased to stumble upon that tidbit, as well as her “time travel” session with Kevin Federline (scroll down a couple posts to watch that video). This got us talking about some of the…
Capricorn Figure out if there’s a purpose to a debate before you get started. It’s tempting to get involved in a battle of the wits, but be careful: That repartee could quickly descend to the level of ‘Did not!,’ ‘Did too! Did not! Did too! (shotgun blast)’ Gemini It’s time to share what you know.…
Wow, they found the guy who probably killed JonBenet Ramsey. I guess we owe her parents an apology. Johnny Depp is doing another movie with Tim Burton. How come no one has questioned that relationship yet? Drew Barrymore wants to settle down and have a kid. Her boyfriend’s name is Fabrizio Moretti, formerly the (dead?)…
K-State’s Tyler Hughes was thrown off the basketball team for being a registered sex offender, or maybe for what he did to become one. Either way, we went to the Kansas registered sex offenders site yesterday. We were sucked in by the pure hilarity of the photos. I would put one of them up here,…
LeoYou have the imagination and insight to see fresh angles on lifelong friends. Why not share your knowledge with them? Rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper, paper beats rock, and corn doesn’t digest. SagittariusYour career success accelerates just as the situation in your personal life gets deep. This might cause you some stress, along with…
Instead of hastily putting together what I can find for the Stooks Scoop three minutes before it goes on the air, I’ve decided to work on it a day in advance and put what I find here. Don’t worry, any late-breaking stories about Rosie sitting on it will still make the show. Good lord, you…
At least one of my friends on MySpace is the “that guy” who flaunts how ripped he is by having shirtless photos all over the place. So, we discussed the “Dude who needs to be shirtless all the time.” Segment 1 – Topless with a PorscheSegment 2 – Underendowed and CockySegment 3 – Fat and…
Aquarius When your dad calls with another set of instructions about how to change an oil filter, the temptation to roll your eyes is irresistible. Listen attentively and you may just learn something about your family…specifically, about your family’s questionable past in the organized car parts theft crime syndicate. Cancer Learn to shake off any…
Did you hear? Mario Lopez and Jerry Springer are going to be on Dancing with the Stars. “Ouch, I shouldn’t have nailed that tranny…it burns.” No caption, just a quick note on Mario Lopez: I believe his Speedo says “Air Mail.” Any ideas what that might mean across someone’s groin? I only have one…and it’s…
If you haven’t heard, BOTH Elimidate AND Blind Date are going off the air. Roger Lodge, along with his assortment of V-necks and turtlenecks got me through my first couple years of college. Elimidate renewed my faith in the genre, before a quick rendezvous with Cheaters ended my relationship with dating shows completely. Goodbye Elimidate…
So, you can’t take liquids on a plane for a while. Are snakes okay? One of the biggest things I’ve heard on the news, and seen in the news footage, is the massive amount of lotion disposal. You can’t go a couple of hours without applying lotion? This got us talking about how creepy some…
Capricorn Accomplishing things is the name of the game, and you pack double your usual powerful punch, especially when it comes to money matters. Too bad Monopoly money doesn’t count in the real world. Gemini You can’t go around giving affection always expecting to get it back. The love you make is equal to the…
“Mickelson Boob” is the John Stossel Pick of the Week. Basically, it’s a guy with boobs, who chooses to wear a form-fitting polo with no undershirt. Here are the results, from the original “Mickelson Boob.” Never make eye contact with a pair of Mickelson Boobs. In other show activity… I continue to struggle with my…
LeoAre you eating because you’re hungry, or are you noshing because it’s a good way to distract yourself from what’s really going on? Food should be appreciated, but it shouldn’t be used as a way to avoid emotions. And when Mark Mangino and Louie Anderson get emotional in the same room, may God help anyone…
A perp, with his hands cuffed, managed to bite a Riley County Police Officer on the thigh, and break skin. This prompted a frank discussion on bites. Segment 1 – Dog bite on the ear Segment 2 – Love bites “Cheer: getting blood stains out of teeth since 1951.” In other show activity… “Words” with…