CapricornYou just want to curl up into a ball. Go for it. Just don’t do it at the top of a hill. Someone may “human bowling ball” you. GeminiAnything worth having in your life is worth protecting. If someone encroaches on your territory, your instinct may be to bob and weave with some verbal wit.…
Anna Nicole’s other lawyer (not the one she kind of married) has quit working for her. He said he had some disagreements with the lawyer she married over “strategies.” For example, who’s penis to put in Anna Nicole. Two of the guys from “Grey’s Anatomy” got into a little bit of a tussle on the…
I’m not sure if it’s the season change or everything else, but I’ve been pretty pissy the last couple of days. I’ve noticed a lot of people on edge. So we decided to channel the rage into something productive: today’s show! Instead of raging out on some innocent bystander, we encouraged our listeners to let…
Leo Your quick wit steps in and saves the day. Quips, repartee and rejoinders are all on your mental menu. And Mangino’s hungry. Sagittarius Communication is key to making sure events go smoothly on this day. Making a to-do list will help you get everything accomplished in good time. Just make sure “take your semi-weekly…
In Mel Gibson’s interview with Diane Sawyer, he says his anti-Semitic remarks were “just the stupid rambling of a drunkard.” His doesn’t normally slur so much when he slurs. The interview is on Thursday and Friday’s Good Morning America. Scarlett Johansson gets tested for STDs twice a year. I think she’s confusing her sex life…
Since no one wants to broadcast it on their own dollar, K-State is putting this weekend’s game against Nebraska on Pay-Per-View for $3o. Like boxing, we think their should be some preliminary showing. We asked our listeners to get creative. Segment 1 – Midget clowns, Jell-O and naked bull rides (2:51).Segment 2 – Midget running…
Aquarius Someone says something that strikes a nerve — but you’re determined not to show that it got to you. Hey, you’re human — go ahead and reveal the effects. That way it won’t turn into resentment, just a nasty rash to horrify your family and friends. Cancer Why not give yourself a break and…
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are a duo again! They were spotted eating together in public! Wait, that couldn’t have been Nicole Richie. By the way, the Enquirer thinks it has a photo of Paris Hilton’s pot in her purse. Couldn’t possibly be Photoshopped… Katie Couric manages to do worse and worse in the ratings…
I didn’t go out at all Saturday night, and ended up going to Walmart at 7:30 Sunday morning to buy a Nintendo DS. By the way, I’m quite satisfied with the purchase. One of our callers had an impulse buy of her own she wanted to share. Today’s Columbus Day. We talked a couple of…
Capricorn Your inner haggler comes out and runs the show for the day. But who wouldn’t penny-pinch when it comes to buying one of those bracelets that comes in those little dome things out of those little machines. They really drive a hard bargain. Gemini Make love the foundation for your entire life. Start at…
Jessica Simpson and John Mayer hanging out at a hotel bar together? Then, they disappeared into an elevator? You don’t suppose they did anything naughty, do you? I think so. I bet the poor person who got into the elevator after them had to stop at every floor on the way down! “Ouch” on Jessica…
Free for All Friday got a little out of hand today, especially after one of our callers said fat people aren’t good people. Today’s the High Lady’s birthday, and her present is talking about topics we covered days ago (4:09). “Thanks for not being my wife, guys” (0:41). A drunk moped accident (6:13). The most…
Leo It’s time to put aside petty concerns. Muster up your enthusiasm and think about what lies ahead. Don’t let the small stuff stop you from taking the first and very necessary step toward a new stage in your development: changing your own diaper. Sagittarius Activities that involve waiting or patience are definitely not your…
Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston broke up. Rumors say the relationship went downhill after he proposed to her with a half million dollar diamond ring at the end of June. Some dude says R. Kelly beat him up and stole his idea. At least R. didn’t pee on him. “Call me, Screech. Let’s share ideas.”…
I’ve been pretty good about going to the gym the last couple weeks. Yesterday, I thought I’d hit about the sauna after my run. It’s a co-ed sauna, and as I entered the little hallway that separates the locker rooms from the sauna, the door slammed behind me. A Korean woman entered from her locker…
Aquarius Self-sacrifice isn’t a problem for you. Just make sure that while you give, you shouldn’t actually give until it hurts. Usually that’s after you donate the second kidney. Cancer Not everyone gets you right now, but that’s fine — after all, you know that you have your own special style that can’t be duplicated.…
Paris Hilton got punched in the face Tuesday night by Shanna Moakler, an former Dancing With The Stars contestant. Shanna used to date Travis Barker from Blink 182. Paris hooked up with him recently, so Shanna got up in Paris’ face. Then, Paris ex Stavros Niarchos supposedly poured a drink on Shanna and threw her…
I was tempted by a hot girl buying cheese while wearing a Royals shirt in Walmart yesterday. I was too chicken to approach her, though. This morning, we discussed picking up at Walmart. Segment 1 – “I got my cheese and she walked out of my life forever” (3:33).Segment 2 – “What about your grandkids?”…
Capricorn Sometimes resting is its own form of exercise. Initially you may scoff at that, but learning how to truly relax and shrug off the everyday burdens of tension is an art: an art well-suited to your meticulous dismembering technique. Gemini Learn to admit when you made a mistake. Next, go to the parties who…
That photographer who says he’s the real baby daddy has filed a paternity suit against Anna Nicole Smith. She will have to return to California for the test. He’s worried about the “health and safety of the child” in the company of Anna Nicole. “Like my baby?” Katie Couric has fallen all the way to…
I’ve decided to start paying extra and drop my laundry off at the laundromat so I don’t have to deal with it. One of my concerns is some greazy guy with a bad stash smelling my undies. In fact, I don’t want any man doing my laundry. Any man who does other people’s laundry for…
Leo Variety spices up your life if you let it. Just make sure you have some Pepto-Bismol handy. Sagittarius One of your greatest gifts is your ability to believe: in yourself, in possibility and, most of all, in UFOs. The stars just love your tinfoil spaceman suit you devised to greet the visitors. Taurus A…
Paris Hilton’s ass was hanging out at a release party for Janet Jackson’s new CD. “Top that, Lohan!” Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, is dating Lance Armstrong. He’s also been linked to Paris Hilton. Honestly, who hasn’t slept with her, yet? George Clooney plans to trick the paparazzi by dating a different actress each night. Trick…
This weekend, I missed a key opportunity for some good video when some jugglers from K-State took a pen out of my mouth as I stood between them while they juggled. Vowing to never let this happen again, I headed to Target to find a good bag for my camcorder. When I was checking out,…
Aquarius No one, but no one can bring the wacky the way you can. Except you know that your ideas are far from wacky — it’s just that everyone else is so hopelessly boring! I mean, come on, who wouldn’t appreciate a sweater woven from 100% American back hair. Cancer The inner worth of a…
Dustin Diamond says he isn’t involved with the release of his Dirty Sanchez technique to the world. He says he and his friends make sex tapes and they try to keep one-upping each other. The gambling site BetUS.com is in the lead to own the rights and distribute the tape, at a rumored cost of…
Another Free for All Friday, where our callers get to talk about whatever they want. “Barracks Whores” (3:33). “Custard Hill” (2:02). “Speak English!” (1:35) “How much English do you need to tell if someone’s dying?” (1:51). “Carlos Mencia sucks” and “Paris Hilton interrupting bill O’Reilly” (2:56). “I’ll fart in your face!” (3:44) The new Blade…
Capricorn You know that saying about ‘all work and no play,’ and what that imbalance can do to people? Make sure you do something that puts the sparkle in your eye, whether it’s running through the grass, taking a trip, or loosening the tops of the parmesan jars at the pizza place. Gemini Get out…
Right in the middle of some serious baby daddy drama, Anna Nicole Smith married her lawyer Thursday. That’ll be a healthy relationship. Pete Doherty’s been spotted buying syringes. We’d normally not care about the singer for the Babyshambles, but he just got back with Kate Moss. He bought two syringes. How sweet, a “his” and…
Chris was wearing a hoodie during the show today. He even went as far as to have the hood up with his headphones on the outside of the hood. I have conflicting views on the hoodie, and it let to a lengthy discussion. I didn’t realize people were so passionate about the hoodie. Segment 1…