Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) Don’t lose heart if some recent adventures haven’t turned out quite as you’d hoped. Instead, shake off some of that weight pressing down on your shoulders. You really shouldn’t offer piggyback rides to Rosie O’Donnell. Cancer (June 22 – July 22) Recent frustrations about your progress on the job…
Britney Spears went to an actual dentist for her toothache. Now, if we could just get her to the gynecologist… Sanjaya’s family is so over all the bad press. In fact, they’re challenging the media to “bring it on.” Consider it “brought.” Meanwhile, it’s hunger strike Day 12 for this MySpace Sanjaya-hater. Donald Trump wrote…
You should’ve been watching Lost (2:41) Scoop – Anna on Maury (3:27) What’s in your neighbor’s yard? 1 (4:45) What’s in your neighbor’s yard? 2 (2:01) What’s in your neighbor’s yard? 3 (2:47) What’s in your neighbor’s yard? 4 (4:42) Seacrest gets “Sanjaya’d” (2:02)
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Your ideas about relationships are changing and maturing. You no longer seek a companion to get you through an episode of Dawson’s Creek without crying. That Pacey gets you every time. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Make sure people know you’re not just talk — you know how…
The courts are using the same lab as Maury Povitch for Anna Nicole’s baby-daddy testing. If they work this into an episode of Maury, I’ll never be sad again. Bomb threat at E! Don’t get your hopes up. Seacrest wasn’t in the building, and it wasn’t a legit threat, anyway. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt…
Smoking on the toilet (4:00) Scoop – Paris’ new boyfriend (2:42) Jeri Anne: MySpace Creep 1 (4:33) Jeri Anne: MySpace Creep 2 (4:14) HotEnough.org (3:28) High Lady coming to MySpace? (3:47) Idol: Melinda’s stupid grin (4:56) Here’s a link to the Star Wars Gangsta Rap, as mentioned in the Idol segment.
Leo (July 23 – August 22) Someone’s impressed with how good you are at being in charge. Too bad that someone is Jennifer Lopez’s three year old niece. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) You have a decision to make, but you need lots of peace and quiet to identify the option that’s really best…
Britney Spears lost 10 pounds in rehab…all in her liver. Just before her toothache, Britney Spears’ security pulled a gun on a photographer at a church. I’m still not sure what Jesus would’ve done if he were her security. Cocky potential baby-daddy Larry Birkhead threw down some serious coin at Baby Gap. Maybe he’s just…
Old People & Rain Gauges (2:01) Steve Schnell’s Post Spring Break Report (0:55) Padded bras…for him (1:51) Scoop – Bruce Willis tongues Courtney Love (3:21) Male PMS 1 (6:01) Male PMS 2 (1:07) Male PMS 3 (1:07) Rain Gauges revisited (4:32)
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) This rough patch of your recent history is, believe it or not, a great opportunity to learn how to change things for the better. Stop bemoaning your fate. Figure out the divine lesson in these events: Jesus is the only one who can make a decent glass of wine…
Anna Nicole didn’t kill herself, and neither did anyone else. We’ll have to find something else to occupy our time now. Britney’s people said it was a toothache, not a relapse, that sent her to the hospital Sunday. Kevin Federline spent his 29th birthday with Shar Jackson, his inaugural baby mama. A German TV network…
High Lady: Did Stooks quit? (5:45) MySpace Attack 1 (3:49) MySpace Attack 2 (2:50) MySpace Attack 3 (1:41) Allergies (0:44) Scoop – Mel’s back! (3:36)
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Someone else’s emotions are making you uncomfortable, possibly because they quite accurately mirror what you’re trying to keep hidden. You really should’ve buried it before having company over. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Communication may be a little touch-and-go now, so make sure you double-check those emails and…
Friday night, Britney Spears made her first public appearance since rehab. She went to a dance class and had dinner with her girlfriends. Her vagina, meanwhile, stayed behind closed doors. Mel Gibson to an expert on Mayan culture: “Lady, f**k off.” She had challenged some of the representations in his movie Apocalypto. How insulting…he didn’t…
We’re back to 100,000 watts today. Thanks for helping us get through this fiasco. Our engineer, Randy Stewart, is a badass. Justin Carson leaves, ends friendship (1:43) Jeri Anne’s gay quiz (2:05) Scoop – J-Hud’s chicken wing problem (2:53) Don’t breathe on the transmitter (1:55) Free for all – Everyone sucks more than you (4:05)…
Leo (July 23 – August 22) An eagerness to put a recent squabble behind you may send you from the frying pan straight into the fire. That’s a place only suitable for s’mores. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Having this much activity going on can be just a touch unsettling, but withdrawing from the…
Despite stories saying he’ll get close to 20 million, TMZ says Kevin Federline’s only gonna get about one million in his divorce from Britney Spears. And a source close to her rehab experience says Britney has become “nice as well as reasonable.” Reasonable being defined as just a hair above an exposed vagina. If you…
We were still at low power for today’s show. Thanks for following the show online. I apologize again for this fiasco. Al Gore is the man…robot (3:08) Wrong Way Stooks (2:39) Idol update (3:00) Scoop – Hoff in Vegas (3:20) Spam is a logistical nightmare (3:30) Life is Hell (1:11)
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) You’re ready to raise the stakes when it comes to a high-risk game involving your emotions. The stars say to sit this hand out. So does the secondhand smoke coming from that dude with the Marlboro Reds who hasn’t left the casino in four days. Cancer (June 22 –…
Larry Birkhead turned in his DNA, and only if he’s a match will Howard K. Stern have to do the same. And if they both match, they’ll rock, paper, scissors for the baby. Hoff was clubbin’ it up in Vegas again the other night, and fans bombarded him for a photo. Luckily he doesn’t realize…
Our transmitter was at low power for another show. We’re hoping to be back to full power this afternoon or tonight. Thanks to everyone who called in for the show today. Family Feud Play-By-Play (5:49) Sanjaya makes a little girl cry (3:50) Scoop – Britney out of rehab (3:04) Who’s listening? Stooks is. (1:05) Who’s…
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Repressing your emotions won’t be helpful in the end. In fact, holding things in will eventually just make you feel like blowing your top. Paris Hilton has video to document this phenomenon. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Remind yourself how far you’ve come. That should help you overcome…
Britney Spears is out of rehab and hoping to stay away. She wants her privacy, even if she’s pushing her vagina up against a photographer’s camera. Scandal! Those homoerotic exchanges between Cowell and Seacrest might be scripted. A judge has finally ordered Howard K. Stern to fork over some of his coveted DNA. Busted! Mary-Kate…
Yeah, “online exclusive.” Our transmitter is operating at such a low power that we’re “clip showin’ it up” today for the listeners who can pick up the station. We’re hoping to be back to full power this afternoon, and back to a full show tomorrow. Thanks for putting up with it. Scoping out the competition…
Miss USA says she could be dead if it weren’t for Donald Trump’s intervention. It pays to not be fat or ugly to get Trump’s help. Salma Hayek is getting a lot of attention for the Supersizing of her breasts since she got knocked up. Ripe cantaloupes Jennifer Hudson says she isn’t a diva, at…
So, our transmitter kind of caught on fire at 11:00 last night. Instead of taking the day off, we decided to go for a web-only show. Thanks to everyone who helped out, and a special thanks to my friend Danny Bristow for the Morgan Freeman bit. We explain the transmitter problem to The High Lady…
Angelina Jolie plans to be a stay-at-home mom for awhile. E! says the fifth season of The Simple Life will have Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie as counselors in a fat camp. I’m sure they’ll get results. Simon Cowell regrets turning down a $100 thousand offer to critique a couple’s lovemaking. “It reminded me of…
Viewer Mail: Jeri Anne’s Bestest Friend (2:11) Hinder’s Country sellout (1:13) High Lady – Rice-A-Tony (4:52) Sirens in radio commercials (3:24) Smoker’s Wood (3:42) High Lady – Back with an Irish song (3:56) Ted’s a creep (0:55) You can’t keep Ted away (0:29) Scoop – Sinbad dies? (4:16)
Leo (July 23 – August 22) You’re on the receiving end of some unusual celestial energy right now, especially when it comes to trusting your inner wisdom. Oh, wait, that’s just Olive Garden indigestion. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Be on the lookout for miscommunications, especially where relatives, loved ones and old friends are…
Angelina Jolie’s 3 year-old Vietnamese son’s adopted name is Pax Thien Jolie. It means “Good peace” or something ridiculous like that. Jennifer Aniston, obviously frustrated with Brangelina and their adoptive ways, is thinking about a move back to New York. You can send your “thoughts and inspirations” to Britney Spears through her website. However, her…