Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have finally confirmed their breakup. Good sign: Britney’s manager is carrying the kid. “…and then this little chihuahua fell out of my vagina.” Madonna is on Rosie’s side in the Trump feud. So I guess that’s a point for Trump. Trump says Star Jones called to congratulate him on his…
Donald Trump might want to consider shutting up. Rosie and Barbara humiliated him on the latest “View.” All he could come back with was calling Barbara a “sad figurehead dominated by a third-rate comedian.” Trump and Conan had a little awkward exchange of their own Tuesday night. Paula Abdul says Simon Cowell saved her ass…
Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are Mr. Blackwell’s worst dressed celebrities. I didn’t know two women could make the list. Or does he count Britney’s vagina as its own species? “Is that your crotch-rot smell or mine?” Britney hung out with a sailor this weekend. And now it looks like sake was to blame for…
Britney Spears got paid $400 thousand for her little pass-out fest New Year’s Eve. It’s quite possible Paris Hilton has never pumped a gallon of gas in her life. Before sending some photographer off to get her some gas, she said “how much is gas?” Tourists regular gather outside Paris’ house. Or they think it’s…
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have a temporary custody agreement through the end of January. He can spend time with the kids from noon-4 p.m. every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at Britney’s house. Federline translation: liquor cabinet! Cartoons! Britney is still partying it up. Her vaginometer must be on high alert, though. Still no photos.…
Donald Trump went off on Meredith Vieira on the Today Show for asking him about the Rosie feud. Yeah, can’t she tell he doesn’t like talking about that? Just Wednesday night, he told Showbiz Tonight that Barbara was lying through her teeth when she read her little prepared “we love Rosie” speech on The View.…
The tabloids say Britney’s record label is thinking about dropping her. I guess her vagina disappointed them, too. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz didn’t spend Christmas together, leading tabloids to claim “it’s over!” I think Britney’s available. SpyOnVegas.com caught Paris Hilton taking an ice cube to the face. I guess that’s better than the alternative.…
Jessica Simpson’s dad is annoyed at her for turning down a New Year’s Eve hosting gig at a club in Vegas so she could hang out with John Mayer. Britney Spears ended up hosting the event, where she had her little pass out/spontaneous sleep. At least Joe Simpson doesn’t touch her. Nick Lachey and Vanessa…
Britney Spears people say she fell asleep at 1 a.m. New Year’s because she was tired, not that she collapsed because she was too drunk. I’ll have to see some photos to be sure. Vagina = sober. When not passing out, Britney has been pretty good about being slutty. She made out with Arizona Cardinals…
Donald Trump continues to amuse over Rosie. She called him a pimp on her blog, and he responded. “Rosie got mentally beaten up by me, because she’s a mental midget, a lowlife. I think she’s got a death wish. It’s too bad a degenerate is able to get away with things like that.” Did he…
The Enquirer says O.J. Simpson’s addicted to painkillers. At least he’s over that whole addiction to slaughtering people phase. Jessica Simpson is in the midst of a meltdown so severe, Ashlee’s been called in to cheer her up. In Touch says Jessica’s depressed and even spent two days locked in her trailer on the set…
James Brown died. He kicked ass in Rocky IV. Apollo died in Rocky IV. Oprah and Stedman are now living together. No word on whether Gayle King will be forced out of the bed completely. Rosie O’Donnell is blogging about Donald Trump. Here’s a line for Trump to use: “I’m surprised they make a keyboard…
Britney Spears has been named “Most Controversial Celebrity of the Year” by CNN’s Showbiz Tonight. She won by a vagina hair, just edging out Mel Gibson. Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell are feuding and Barbara Walters is stuck in the middle. Ha. Amazingly, Rosie is acting more adult about it than Trump. My favorite part:…
In Touch Weekly says Britney Spears has been calling Kevin Federline and taunting him about her makeout sessions with J.R. Rotem and about how little money K-Fed has. For Christmas, Paris Hilton gave Britney Spears a $500 purse to carry a dog in. Britney Spears got a hand tattoo of a star or something white…
Britney’s going to burlesque clubs, by the way. Here’s an incident from the weekend: Britney, while smoking, got on stage, “gyrated for the crowd,” and showed off her bra. The club owner asked her to move out of the way. Then, she started drinking again. Paris Hilton is taking acting lessons in preparation for her…
Sad: Joe Barbera of Hanna-Barbera died at 95. They had tons of badass cartoons: Flintstones, Jetsons, Yogi, Scooby, Don Knotts, The Harlem Globetrotters, Sonny and Cher… Britney got booed off the jumbotron at the Laker game Sunday, and then left at halftime. Here’s a flattering shot someone got of the jumbotron: “This shot misses my…
At last check, Lindsay Lohan still goes out every night but isn’t drinking. Britney Spears had a tough time getting her car to follow her commands the other night. While showing off her vagina, Britney-style, porn star Mary Carey says Britney stole an act she’s been doing for four years. Britney’s little makeout session with…
Nicole Richie is still wearing a blanket around to make it harder to take her picture. It’s all good until every bone in her body collapses under the pressure. Doctors are weighing in on why Nicole might have taken Vicodin the night of her arrest. They say it could’ve been prescribed for her period. I…
Nicole Richie could have to spend five days in jail for her DUI. This is her second offense. During her 2002 arrest, she told cops she had only eaten French Fries, took a shot of vodka, and poof! She blew a .13. Cameras caught Paris Hilton’s with a powdery substance in her nose. “Would you…
Nicole Richie has been spotted for the first time after her DUI arrest. She was leaving her boyfriend’s house. I think the paparazzi stood a little further back when she took off in her car this time. Don’t worry, Nicole Richie won’t let the arrest hurt her career. At this point, her career could only…
Nicole Richie’s been arrested for DUI. She passed a breathalyser, but told police that she smoked pot and took Vicodin. I don’t know if I’d volunteer that information. She didn’t pull a Mel and go all Hitler on the police either. She was actually quite kind. Here’s one of the 911 phone calls that led…
Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto was number one at the box office this weekend, with $14 million. Way to make a Jew-hater richer, everybody. What has Britney started? Mischa Barton has joined Crotchfest 2006, sporting an open fly. “No, it can’t belch the alphabet like Britney’s.” If there’s free booze, you’ll probably find Kevin Federline. Paris Hilton…
Britney Spears acknowledges that everyone saw her vagina. “I probably did take my new found freedom too far…Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected…Thank God for Victoria’s Secrets’ new underwear line!” No mention of thanking God for her less-than-inviting cooter. Lindsay Lohan is insane. From an email she…
Star Magazine has a copy of an email from a 20-year-old American College girl who hooked up with Vince Vaughn in Hungary. Sounds reliable. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are having a post-wedding party in L.A. this weekend, for those who couldn’t make the real wedding. No word yet on whether Oprah will show up…
UPDATE: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are breaking up. Britney Spears may have backed out of the Billboard Music Awards after learning about a K-Fed skit. A successful New York plastic surgeon is offering a free tummy tuck and cosmetic surgery to Britney Spears. Seems he was disappointed by the photos, too. Britney was the…
Britney Spears is wearing panties. “My ass likes country music.” Kevin Federline dropped by Britney’s Sunday morning, presumably visiting his children. And looking under the couch for a roach. Paris Hilton is teaching Britney Spears how to work a stripper pole. They’re practicing on the pole at Paris’ house. And the maid just bought another…
Britney Spears turned 25 Saturday. During the day, she went to the zoo with Sean Preston. She went to dinner with some friends, one of whom gave her panties as a gift. Then, she met up with Paris Hilton at Hyde, a club so exclusive that even Jodie “Stephanie from Full House” Sweetin gets denied…
Britney’s pantie-less tirade has scared anyone decent from hanging out with her. In fact, she’s resorted to dating Brandon Davis, the guy only famous for calling Lohan a firecrotch. Suspicious: Britney Spears went to the pharmacy twice Wednesday morning. Pregnancy test? Other health problems? Rotten vagina? Some respectable news sources are asking psychologists to weigh…
Britney Spears has shown off her vagina three nights in the past week. She hasn’t been wearing panties: “Whats that flapping sound? Whoops, caught some wind, there.” But, Britney’s days of being pantie-free look numbered. She just dropped $3 thousand at the place Katie Holmes got her wedding underwear at. As I think about this…
So, what was the tipping point in Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock’s relationship? Could’ve been Borat. Pam’s in Borat, playing herself. I don’t remember her doing anything too filthy, but Kid Rock wasn’t happy after seeing it. “You’re nothing but a whore! You’re a slut! How could you do that movie?” Are they sure he’s…